A Shared Resolve
Feb. 21st, 2014 04:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
craterdwellerTitle: A Shared Resolve
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Medium: Fanfiction
Size/Length: 1591
Prompt: Too Much
Summary: When they realize how their estrangement is affecting Dawn, Buffy and Giles resolve to talk.
Content Notes: Post-Chosen.
Rupert Giles sat down with his cup of earl grey and the morning paper. His contented sigh whispered across the blissful silence.
“Naomi! You took the last tampon and put the empty box back!” Someone, probably Rachel, yelled. There was a thunder of footsteps followed by a scuffle. The commotion drew nearer.
Quickly grabbing his teacup he headed for the barn with undue haste. Never in a million years would he have envisioned sharing his home with a dozen slayers. A deeply private man, he felt ill-suited to deal with the inherent problems of so many teenaged girls in such a tight space. He sighed. Well at least it was only until the renovations on the property in Scotland were completed.
“Well, old boy. I think I’ll stay out here with you, if you don’t mind.” Otto nuzzled his hand affectionately. Giles retrieved a brush from the workbench and began grooming his horse. All thoughts of slayers and teenaged girls momentarily forgotten.
“There you are. I thought I might find you hiding out here. It’s safe to come back now. Andrew, of all people, settled the argument.”
“I am not hiding, Dawn. I merely ...” He hesitated as he tried to come up with a plausible excuse.
“Relax, Giles. Your secret is safe. Sometimes it’s even too much for me, and I am a teenaged girl. I can’t imagine what it’s like for a guy like you.”
“Old and stuffy, you mean,” he said with a trace of bitterness.
“I was going to say kind and reserved, like a proper English gentleman. But if you prefer old and stuffy,” she trailed off at his glare and gave him her best smile.
Giles shook his head. He wondered when his glare had lost its power. As if reading his mind, Dawn came over and looped her arm around his. He sighed. “Alright. Out with it. What are you buttering me up for?”
“Me? Nothing.” But Dawn couldn’t quite pull off the innocent look. “Ok. Fine. Andrew said that you were leaving this afternoon to go pick up a new slayer. Can’t you send him instead? Buffy is getting in tonight.”
Giles closed his eyes. He knew that his estrangement from Buffy disturbed Dawn. Following her mother’s death, Dawn began clinging to those she loved. And to the Watcher’s surprise that had included him. He laid a comforting hand on the teen’s shoulder. “Dawn, I think we both know it is for the best.”
“NO!” She screeched. “I don’t believe that. And neither do you. Why can’t you forgive her?”
“Dawn.”
“Don’t Dawn me!” She angrily wiped the tears from her face, “Don’t you love us anymore?”
Feeling all kinds of rotten, Giles pulled the distraught girl into a hug. “Sssh, Dawn, of course I love you. Don’t ever doubt that. But sometimes there is just too much hurt, no matter how much two people may care for each other. I care deeply for your sister, but I’ve hurt her too much for her to forgive me.”
She wrenched away from him. “That’s stupid. So what now? You run away every time Buffy comes to town? You’re just going to throw away your friendship or bond or whatever you guys call it?”
“Dawn, the bond is broken. And I don’t think Buffy will want to work to repair it. She was uncomfortable at best with it and it takes a level of trust that I will never earn again.” He brushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “Now why don’t you go back to the house and make sure Andrew isn’t in over his head. I’ll call you from Budapest, alright?”
“Promise you’ll call? That you won’t just disappear from our lives?” She sniffed.
“I promise. And Dawn, you have both the number here at the farm and my cell. You can call me collect whenever you’d like.”
She nodded unconvinced. She couldn’t shake the feeling that this was goodbye. Giles was certain that Buffy wanted nothing more to do with him. They were both so stubborn. Dawn had hoped to be able to persuade Giles. If only she could have gotten them to talk. Head bowed in resignation, the teen turned and headed towards the main house. “Bye, Giles. I love you,” she whispered.
Unaware he was being watched he closed his eyes and touched his forehead to Otto’s, taking some small comfort in the horse’s unconditional love. His shoulders shook as a sob escaped him. “What have I done? Forgive me, Buffy. You deserved better.”
Buffy moved out from the shadows, unseen and unheard. She had followed Dawn out to the barn and then ducked into the empty stall when she discovered whom her sister had gone to meet. She had not meant to eavesdrop. In her righteous anger she had gleaned some satisfaction that her Watcher was hurting. However, she hadn’t considered how her estrangement from Giles affected her sister. Nor had she anticipated the pain upon hearing that Giles felt that there had been too much hurt between them to reconcile.
“Giles?”
“Buffy! I, uh, didn’t think you were arriving until tonight. I’ll, uh, I’ll go.” He stammered without looking at her. He moved quickly towards the rear door.
“Giles, wait! Please.”
He stopped but did not turn around.
“Look. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but did you mean it?”
“Mean what?”
“That you loved me?”
He sighed. “Buffy, I’m sorry you had to hear that. And I’m sure once you and Dawn are settled she’ll get too wrapped up in her own life to worry about calling an old Watcher.”
“You didn’t answer the question, Giles. Did you mean it?”
Bowing his head he answered quietly, “Yes.” He started walking towards the rear door again but his progress was halted by his Slayer crashing into him from behind.
Hugging him fiercely she said, “I love you too, Giles. I love you too much to let you go. Please, give me another chance. I know we’ve hurt each other in the past, but I can’t imagine my life without you in it. We can fix this, Giles. Please. I know we can. And I really, really want to.”
He felt her hot tears through the material of his shirt. “Buffy,” he gasped. She loosened her grip slightly so he could get more air into his lungs and he used the opportunity to turn around and return her embrace. “You don’t need me, luv.” He stroked her back in attempt to calm her.
“I do need you! And Dawn needs you. Giles, you’re so much more than my Watcher. I can’t even put into words how much you mean to me. To Dawn. To all of us.” She pulled back from the hug so she could look him in the eye. “I think we should really talk about all the stuff that’s happened and not just say sorry. Maybe I can go to Budapest with you. We can talk after we locate the new slayer.”
He could see the earnestness in her eyes. He cupped her cheek gently with his left hand. “I think you’re right. We should talk things out. But, not in Budapest. And not here.” He looked around longingly. “As much as I love this place, we would be interrupted constantly. Perhaps Xander can pick up the new slayer and Willow can look after things here. Is there someplace you’d always wanted to visit? It might be nice to have a few pleasant diversions as well.”
Buffy’s first impulse was to say Paris or Rome or someplace where she could indulge her love of shopping but that would also have museums for him. But that would likely end up with them going their separate ways to relax. Isn’t that what they always did though? Put their problems behind them quickly and then move on without really resolving anything. She looked at Giles. Really looked at him for the first time in years. He had the same kind face and gentle eyes that she had always loved and taken for granted. But there were more worry lines around his eyes now. The stress of being her Watcher and living on the Hellmouth had taken its toll. Exhaustion exuded from him. “Someplace quiet. A nice tropical beach or maybe someplace in the woods?” She looked over at Otto. “Maybe someplace where we could ride?”
Giles had frowned at her first suggestion of a tropical beach. The idea of being that exposed to his Slayer frightened him. As did the notion of being around Buffy in a swimming suit. She was no longer the headstrong girl that was in his charge, but a beautiful young woman. One that he had strong attachments too. But he perked up at the mention of a place they could go riding. “Do you ride, Buffy?”
“Well, no. But I thought maybe you could teach me?” She smiled at him.
He smiled in return. “Alright. Let’s find out of Xander and Willow are available to handle things here.” A thought occurred to him. “Uh, Buffy? What about Dawn? Should we take her with us?”
Buffy sighed and tugged her hand through her hair. “Crap. I forgot about, Dawn.” She sent Giles a pleading look.
He sighed. As much as he loved Dawn, they really needed this time alone to work through their differences. “Perhaps we should call Xander and Willow first. And then we can speak with Dawn.”
“It's a plan.” She tucked her arm into his and they headed back towards the house.
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Medium: Fanfiction
Size/Length: 1591
Prompt: Too Much
Summary: When they realize how their estrangement is affecting Dawn, Buffy and Giles resolve to talk.
Content Notes: Post-Chosen.
Rupert Giles sat down with his cup of earl grey and the morning paper. His contented sigh whispered across the blissful silence.
“Naomi! You took the last tampon and put the empty box back!” Someone, probably Rachel, yelled. There was a thunder of footsteps followed by a scuffle. The commotion drew nearer.
Quickly grabbing his teacup he headed for the barn with undue haste. Never in a million years would he have envisioned sharing his home with a dozen slayers. A deeply private man, he felt ill-suited to deal with the inherent problems of so many teenaged girls in such a tight space. He sighed. Well at least it was only until the renovations on the property in Scotland were completed.
“Well, old boy. I think I’ll stay out here with you, if you don’t mind.” Otto nuzzled his hand affectionately. Giles retrieved a brush from the workbench and began grooming his horse. All thoughts of slayers and teenaged girls momentarily forgotten.
“There you are. I thought I might find you hiding out here. It’s safe to come back now. Andrew, of all people, settled the argument.”
“I am not hiding, Dawn. I merely ...” He hesitated as he tried to come up with a plausible excuse.
“Relax, Giles. Your secret is safe. Sometimes it’s even too much for me, and I am a teenaged girl. I can’t imagine what it’s like for a guy like you.”
“Old and stuffy, you mean,” he said with a trace of bitterness.
“I was going to say kind and reserved, like a proper English gentleman. But if you prefer old and stuffy,” she trailed off at his glare and gave him her best smile.
Giles shook his head. He wondered when his glare had lost its power. As if reading his mind, Dawn came over and looped her arm around his. He sighed. “Alright. Out with it. What are you buttering me up for?”
“Me? Nothing.” But Dawn couldn’t quite pull off the innocent look. “Ok. Fine. Andrew said that you were leaving this afternoon to go pick up a new slayer. Can’t you send him instead? Buffy is getting in tonight.”
Giles closed his eyes. He knew that his estrangement from Buffy disturbed Dawn. Following her mother’s death, Dawn began clinging to those she loved. And to the Watcher’s surprise that had included him. He laid a comforting hand on the teen’s shoulder. “Dawn, I think we both know it is for the best.”
“NO!” She screeched. “I don’t believe that. And neither do you. Why can’t you forgive her?”
“Dawn.”
“Don’t Dawn me!” She angrily wiped the tears from her face, “Don’t you love us anymore?”
Feeling all kinds of rotten, Giles pulled the distraught girl into a hug. “Sssh, Dawn, of course I love you. Don’t ever doubt that. But sometimes there is just too much hurt, no matter how much two people may care for each other. I care deeply for your sister, but I’ve hurt her too much for her to forgive me.”
She wrenched away from him. “That’s stupid. So what now? You run away every time Buffy comes to town? You’re just going to throw away your friendship or bond or whatever you guys call it?”
“Dawn, the bond is broken. And I don’t think Buffy will want to work to repair it. She was uncomfortable at best with it and it takes a level of trust that I will never earn again.” He brushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “Now why don’t you go back to the house and make sure Andrew isn’t in over his head. I’ll call you from Budapest, alright?”
“Promise you’ll call? That you won’t just disappear from our lives?” She sniffed.
“I promise. And Dawn, you have both the number here at the farm and my cell. You can call me collect whenever you’d like.”
She nodded unconvinced. She couldn’t shake the feeling that this was goodbye. Giles was certain that Buffy wanted nothing more to do with him. They were both so stubborn. Dawn had hoped to be able to persuade Giles. If only she could have gotten them to talk. Head bowed in resignation, the teen turned and headed towards the main house. “Bye, Giles. I love you,” she whispered.
Unaware he was being watched he closed his eyes and touched his forehead to Otto’s, taking some small comfort in the horse’s unconditional love. His shoulders shook as a sob escaped him. “What have I done? Forgive me, Buffy. You deserved better.”
Buffy moved out from the shadows, unseen and unheard. She had followed Dawn out to the barn and then ducked into the empty stall when she discovered whom her sister had gone to meet. She had not meant to eavesdrop. In her righteous anger she had gleaned some satisfaction that her Watcher was hurting. However, she hadn’t considered how her estrangement from Giles affected her sister. Nor had she anticipated the pain upon hearing that Giles felt that there had been too much hurt between them to reconcile.
“Giles?”
“Buffy! I, uh, didn’t think you were arriving until tonight. I’ll, uh, I’ll go.” He stammered without looking at her. He moved quickly towards the rear door.
“Giles, wait! Please.”
He stopped but did not turn around.
“Look. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but did you mean it?”
“Mean what?”
“That you loved me?”
He sighed. “Buffy, I’m sorry you had to hear that. And I’m sure once you and Dawn are settled she’ll get too wrapped up in her own life to worry about calling an old Watcher.”
“You didn’t answer the question, Giles. Did you mean it?”
Bowing his head he answered quietly, “Yes.” He started walking towards the rear door again but his progress was halted by his Slayer crashing into him from behind.
Hugging him fiercely she said, “I love you too, Giles. I love you too much to let you go. Please, give me another chance. I know we’ve hurt each other in the past, but I can’t imagine my life without you in it. We can fix this, Giles. Please. I know we can. And I really, really want to.”
He felt her hot tears through the material of his shirt. “Buffy,” he gasped. She loosened her grip slightly so he could get more air into his lungs and he used the opportunity to turn around and return her embrace. “You don’t need me, luv.” He stroked her back in attempt to calm her.
“I do need you! And Dawn needs you. Giles, you’re so much more than my Watcher. I can’t even put into words how much you mean to me. To Dawn. To all of us.” She pulled back from the hug so she could look him in the eye. “I think we should really talk about all the stuff that’s happened and not just say sorry. Maybe I can go to Budapest with you. We can talk after we locate the new slayer.”
He could see the earnestness in her eyes. He cupped her cheek gently with his left hand. “I think you’re right. We should talk things out. But, not in Budapest. And not here.” He looked around longingly. “As much as I love this place, we would be interrupted constantly. Perhaps Xander can pick up the new slayer and Willow can look after things here. Is there someplace you’d always wanted to visit? It might be nice to have a few pleasant diversions as well.”
Buffy’s first impulse was to say Paris or Rome or someplace where she could indulge her love of shopping but that would also have museums for him. But that would likely end up with them going their separate ways to relax. Isn’t that what they always did though? Put their problems behind them quickly and then move on without really resolving anything. She looked at Giles. Really looked at him for the first time in years. He had the same kind face and gentle eyes that she had always loved and taken for granted. But there were more worry lines around his eyes now. The stress of being her Watcher and living on the Hellmouth had taken its toll. Exhaustion exuded from him. “Someplace quiet. A nice tropical beach or maybe someplace in the woods?” She looked over at Otto. “Maybe someplace where we could ride?”
Giles had frowned at her first suggestion of a tropical beach. The idea of being that exposed to his Slayer frightened him. As did the notion of being around Buffy in a swimming suit. She was no longer the headstrong girl that was in his charge, but a beautiful young woman. One that he had strong attachments too. But he perked up at the mention of a place they could go riding. “Do you ride, Buffy?”
“Well, no. But I thought maybe you could teach me?” She smiled at him.
He smiled in return. “Alright. Let’s find out of Xander and Willow are available to handle things here.” A thought occurred to him. “Uh, Buffy? What about Dawn? Should we take her with us?”
Buffy sighed and tugged her hand through her hair. “Crap. I forgot about, Dawn.” She sent Giles a pleading look.
He sighed. As much as he loved Dawn, they really needed this time alone to work through their differences. “Perhaps we should call Xander and Willow first. And then we can speak with Dawn.”
“It's a plan.” She tucked her arm into his and they headed back towards the house.
